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The Worst Movies of 2013

That's not me, but that's the facepalm I make when I suffered a bad experience with a bad movie.
2013 had a lot of really good movies this year, but also there were a lot of bad and disappointing movies from almost every category, especially in the animated category. But, I mean it was really difficult picking the 10 worst movies because there were about 20 fighting for those spots. There were a few movies that I sacrificed my time for y'all to warn you not see the movie. It was a public service. So, without further ado, here are my picks for the worst movies of 2013:

10. The Counselor

A great cast but a truly awful and convoluted movie from Ridley Scott and Cormac McCarthy featuring the most random sex scene of the year starring a Ferrari and Cameron Diaz.

9. Planes

The obvious joke is we had Pixar's Cars, now we have Disney's Planes, but what's next: Disney's or Pixar's Trains or Boats? I mean, ugh, this is basically punishment for kids.

8. The Hangover Part III

Thank God the conclusion to this "epic" trilogy is over. Now, each cast member can reminisce while watching the sequels again that they never should have destroyed the first Hangover's reputation as a hilarious and maybe to be destined-classic comedy.

7. The Host

Stephanie Meyer's novel beats Nicholas Spark's novel Safe Haven to be in my worst films of 2013. Congratulations, filmmakers and Meyer, you get "the most boring movie of the year" prize.

6. Paranoia

As you can see, Harrison Ford is saying to Gary Oldman here: "I want my life back! I should have listened to my agent! He said that Liam Hemsworth was cast in this project right from the start!" Yes, Harrison and Gary, you were both in the only two good scenes when acting together.

5. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Doesn't Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton look bad-ass in this picture? Yeah. But, they looked kind of bored and sad while they were in the movie. They got their paycheck, but we had to pay to see this garbage.

4. After Earth

Let's be honest. I predicted that this was going to be tedious when M. Night Shyamalan was going to direct this movie. You cannot make any more worse movies, can you, Shayamalan? It seems like a dead person was directing Jaden and Will Smith. I hope it wasn't Bruce Willis.

3. Grown Ups 2

That's ok, guys. I know you meant to get "The Worst Movie of 2013" prize this year. Thank Taylor Lautner. He saved you the trouble from me giving the movie zero stars. The filmmakers tried so hard just to give us no plot. Don't worry, Adam Sandler, there's always next year.

2. Getaway

Ethan Hawke is cast. Ok, convincing actor. Selena Gomez is cast. Ok.... Anyway, all I saw was car chases and no outline from y'all. So, let's see. Bad acting, no cohesion, no plot, terrible editing, let me see...uh...carry the 1...um...equals...who gives a damn? It was a stupid action movie.

And the worst film of 2013 is....

1. Movie 43

I wanted to paste this poster to acknowledge every one of these actors that they have made not just only the worst film of the year, but one of the worst movies of all time. You can thank the Farrelly brothers and I want to thank them too for making me think just for 5 seconds that this movie was clearly the worst movie of the year. I cannot believe it came out on Februrary. Hell, I cannot believe it was even thought of as a movie.

Dishonorable Mentions: The Lone Ranger,  The Big Wedding, Safe Haven, Only God Forgives, and A Good Day to Die Hard.

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