A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014), R, ★

Charlize Theron doing some shootin' in the Old West.

I have seen many various westerns that persuade to discover the brilliance or struggle filmmakers, producers or writers they had to go through to make the poetic and perfect western. We do not get as many westerns today because all directors back off or do not have the courage to make a very good western. It is very hard to make a memorable western, because if it is badly made, then, the director will ask himself, "Why did I make the movie from the beginning?" I think Seth McFarlane's talent is too good for this broad material to comically spoof this genre.

The movie opens in Arizona, 1882, where the narrator says to the audience that only the bravest survive the unsafest time in the American west, otherwise, they are described as "weak human beings", to put it nicely. Albert Stark (Seth McFarlane) is a subdued sheep farmer who is afraid of owing debt to a gunfighter with a standoff. He tries to improvise his way out of the gunfight by making crude gestures but he ultimately fails resulting in Albert being shot in the leg. The townspeople walk away and Albert's girlfriend, Louise (Amanda Seyfried), is disappointed and she breaks up with him because she thinks that the relationship is not going anywhere, despite Albert telling Louise that he loves her.

The notorious Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) and his gang of outlaws stop and threaten an old man who is riding his carriage to grasp the gold fairly without robbing it. Clinch initially says that he would shoot on 3 but he unfairly kills the old man on 2 and robs the gold, ignoring his wife's, Anna Barnes' (Charlize Theron), protests.

Albert meets Anna when he rescues her from two men violently fighting each other and the pair click off when he laments the situation about he and Louise and that Louise is in a relationship with Foy (Neil Patrick Harris), a businessman, to Anna and Anna replies that Louise missed out. Anna also thinks that Albert is a nice guy and she suggests that he takes her to the fair to make Louise jealous. On the day of the fair, Albert is more embarrassed because he cannot shoot anything and Anna shoots all the targets at the maximum speed. Foy mocks Albert and Albert challenges him to a duel. Foy accepts and Albert immediately regrets the decision. Anna teaches Albert to shoot and restore his confidence. But, someone is coming back with a vengeance after he discovers that Anna and Albert had sex. Can you guess who it is?

Albert (Seth McFarlane) working with his sheep.

This movie was all over-the-map for me in tone, style and comic timing. To spoof a Western, the filmmakers have to insert an original idea that can be relevant to either the director's signature or the present time. For example, Blazing Saddles satirizes the racism that was going around Hollywood in 1970s and Mel Brooks made the decision to have the black sheriff as the hero in an all-white Old West town. He mixed the relevant satire with his gifted style of premeditated jokes and anachronisms. No wonder that was perfect. And, even though Back to the Future Part III was not perfect, it sort of satired the Old West. There is a brief moment that pays an homage to a character from the BTTF series that made me smile for a few seconds.

Seth McFarlane is gifted, no doubt. But, he cannot anchor a lead in this picture because when he directs every scene of the movie, it is not set up well. Each scene is either irreverent, repetitive, or irrelevant. I am fine with irreverent humor but it has to be set up well. He needed to take care of his direction before making the decision to cast himself as the lead. Watch Clint Eastwood's films, Mr. McFarlane. Charlize Theron is the only actor who seems to be comfortable and she is really appealing with McFarlane by teaching him to shoot cans and other stuff. Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi play a couple who are uninteresting. Neil Patrick Harris gives a couple of funny lines, but just plays the conventional guy who steals a girlfriend away. Amanda Seyfried does not do anything. Liam Neeson plays the villain who is not drawn sharply enough and he does not have that much screen time which was unfortunate.

I like Family Guy and I liked Ted very much with the very funny premise about a man having a life with his teddy bear and hard-working girlfriend. But, McFarlane really misses with a thin screenplay that seems to have a very predictable storyline with not a lot of funny jokes. I will admit that I chuckled at a few jokes and Theron is very good. However, the screenplay does not do the genre a lot of justice. It is just repetitive with the title (almost sounds like a reality show's title) showing off deaths, lackadaisical writing, bland acting, and lousy set-ups. It is a protracted and tiresome comedy to sit through. This is one of the most disappointing films of the year.

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