Paul Blart and his army of mall cops and security guards. |
Here's the plot: Paul Blart (Kevin James) moves to Las Vegas for a convention after six years of protecting the mall in Orange County. He has had a string of bad luck for which his love interest abandons him after six days of marriage, his mother is dead after a milk truck runs her over comically, but it's not funny. So, who's left? His overprotective daughter is who is the clichéd tourist who meets a whole bunch of characters and spends most of her time with one of the hotel's valet parking attendants.
I forgot about the central premise: Paul sneaks around this art heist masterminded by Vincent (Neal McDonough), who infiltrates the hotel's security staff to get involved in the heist. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom: the daughter falls into the villain's hands and uses her as leverage and Blart has to save her. But, first, he has to go through being rude, comical with pratfalls, slapstick humor and sight gags. It gets tiring and it gave me a headache because I wanted to punch a hole through the screen.
It plays a D-version of Ocean's Eleven with more of the Happy Madison features of advertising Las Vegas and the Wynn Hotel like it is Just Go with It with Hawaii being advertised or Blended with Africa being advertised and also with a little Die Hard again. But, it's more like Die Hard: with A Vengeance since he has people to back Blart up.
This is a movie that has no punchline for any of the jokes that are supplied in front of us and the characters are not of any rooted interest. And, the ending becomes so manipulative that I wanted to puke and bowl my eyes out. Whoever likes the movie, stay away from that person who thinks it is funny because its reprehensible jokes and one-dimensional stereotypical characters do not make a movie. The art heist is basically a bonus to the movie but it's more like a free membership to the "Jelly of the Month" club. (Christmas Vacation reference)
It is undoubtedly one of the worst movies of the decade. Yeah, I'll stand by it. Now, I cannot wait to see what Adam Sandler is going to be in and top this piece of trash.
ZERO
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