Pan (2015), PG, ★

What is the origin of Peter Pan?

Have you heard of the tales of Peter Pan? I have when I was a little kid but I do not recall even questioning how he got into Never Land in the first place. I always wondered or maybe ventured some guesses. But, reading and watching the Disney classic, Peter Pan, when I was a kid made me use my imagination of what it would be like to cross paths with many inhabitants in Never Land. It would be half-fun and half-suspicious because I will always wonder how all the characters be on the island in the first place. However, it seems that, while watching the movie, all the cast members were in different universes in this blotchy CGI mess of an originated story.

Peter (Levi Miller) is an orphan who is miserable with his companions and also with his main nun, Mother Barnabas (Kathy Burke). Peter finds out that Mother Barnabas is hoarding extra food for herself and he and Nibs (Lewis McDougall) uncover food and coins. Later on, while the boys sleep at night, some are snatched by the air by pirates. They were summoned by Barnabas, who raised a pirate  flag on the roof at the orphanage. Peter ends up on the ship trying to rescue Nibs, but Nibs end up on the roof. As the ship fights off the planes, it goes away above the clouds.

Peter ties himself onto the ship and when another floating ship emerges from the clouds, he and the other pirates encounters Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman). He tells the boys that they are digging for fairy dust in the mines. While digging, Peter meets James Hook (Garrett Hedlund), who has been there as long as he can remember and he is grumpy all the time. But when Peter misbehaves, Blackbeard makes him walk off the plank and when he falls, he is flying to everyone's astonishment. Hook, Peter and Mr. Smee (Adeel Akhtar) escape and encounters the natives and are caught by them and their leader, Princess Tiger Lily (Rooney Mara) and the Chief (Jack Charles). It becomes your typical fairy tale on from there.

Welcome to Never Land!

This is too much of a visionary tale of the origins of Peter Pan. The visuals, undoubtedly, take over the story as the effects are too distracting and becomes so mushy and in exquisite that it feels more like a Crayola toddler amusement park ride than a movie. It is even worse than Steven Spielberg's adaptation of 1991's Hook, which in my opinion, it's better but a bit forgettable. But, the problem is that there are no boundaries in every aspect of the film: the acting, the writing, the visuals and the action. It is like a kid playing with a movie that has no creative angle and no organization in how the film is set up.

Hugh Jackman is a very compelling actor, recently giving one of his best performances in Prisoners. But, here, his acting is all over the map that he chews the scenery too much when he acts like a caricature of a bad guy. Garrett Hedlund makes a good Hook but somehow, he thinks he accents really creates the character well enough to drive the story along. And, what he heck is Rooney Mara is doing in this movie? She looks lost in the movie but he has a nice chemistry with Levi Miller, however, the kid does not provide any acting chops. But, each actor feels like they are in their own movie the whole time.

Director Joe Wright (director of better films such as Hanna and Atonement, and disappointing films such as Anna Karenina and The Soloist) crafted this pedestrian story with too much visual wonder. But, the problem is his visual wonder does not commit and does not create any childlike wonder and imagination. Plus, the movie is not all that exciting as we can find out what will happen to most of the characters in the end. But, the journey was pretty much worse. The movie is a product of a crocodile eating the script and crapping into whatever land or bottom of the ocean it landed on and we get this trash. Hook being teased by Tick-Tock in the Disney classic is a whole lot better than this.

Let's just watch it again. It makes me laugh everytime.

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