Skip to main content

Baywatch (2017), R, ★


I have heard of the TV show and watching a few episodes in preparation for this movie, I thought that  the people look tan and fit. However, in terms of the few stories, I said to myself, "This show could have gone old fast. But, I could see why many fans enjoyed it." I was surprised that the show lasted for 11 seasons as most shows I know last around 7 or 8 seasons. Even though it was anticipated, I had low expectations because I did not laugh at the trailers as much as I want it to. And, also, all studios want to chase that TV comedic reboot magic like 21 Jump Street. CHIPS failed and even though, it stars two charismatic actors at the helm, unfortunately, this TV-to-movie adaptation sinks into the abyss.

Lieutenant Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson) faces challenges as a lifeguard from shark attacks and rescuing people with parasailing accidents. Buchannon's fellow lifeguards are Stephanie Holden (Ilfenesh Hadera), who has the best record behind Buchannon and CJ Parker (Kelly Rohrbach), who has lifeguard, Ronnie Greenbaum's (Jon Bass) eye twinkling.  However, his latest challenge is not facing a man in peril but a potential trainee: a disgraced Olympian named Matt Brody (Zac Efron), who is all about being cool and wanting to party.

Brody takes a liking to Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario), who bluntly ignores him. Brody explains to both Mitch and Steph that he does not need to do as much training because he is a two-time gold medalist winner but frankly, they do not care. Meanwhile, Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra from the hit show, Quantico), the new owner of the beach's Huntley Club, puts her position as a front to smuggle drugs on the beach. However, they discover some odd things and Mitch and his team are investigating what's going on, despite what Sgt. Ellerbee (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) said which was to lay low.


You can actually have a competition between this movie and CHIPS and ask which movie had the least amount of laughs. Here's the formula: Guy comes in to be trained by a pro because of community service. Then, the pro gets fired and promotes the careless guy but has to redeem himself countless times. The movie is repetitive in its tired jokes, the predictable formula and also the cringeworthy screenplay. The dialogue and story is so old-fashioned and it is almost like a terrible storyline for an 1980s James Bond movie. The story is almost reminiscent to a much-better movie: Licence to Kill. Also, the visual effects and the much-noticeable and terrible use of green-screen are appalling.

The charismatic chemistry between Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and Zac Efron is effortless and adds a little bit energy to the movie. But, again, the dialogue hurts the movie because the predictable jokes land hard with a thud and becomes crickets. There's not much to do for Alexandra Daddario or Kelly Rohrbach in developing their roles except it was nice to see them rescue people. Priyanka Chopra is a beautiful actress but I did not buy her one second as a villain. She was not that menacing enough and she looks like she was struggling to embrace her evil-ness. There's a bit of light with Jon Bass and Yahya-Abdul Matteen II's humor but it is quick. I'll admit I laughed at the ending.

Director Seth Gordon has made Horrible Bosses, which I thought was very funny but it is the only one good movie on his resume as I looked at his filmography. He has made a terrible Christmas movie, Four Christmases, a boring comedy, Identity Thief and then this movie, which has, shockingly, had the least amount of laughs. You care about the actors but not the characters, the action looks a Syfy Channel movie mixed with a bad Baywatch episode, the comedy has not much effort and the story is anticlimactic from beginning to end. It's not a fun dumb movie, this is just a dumb take on a TV show. They are chasing the Holy Grail which is the Jump Street movies but unfortunately they grabbed the wrong cup and decays into bones and dust. The Rock is awesome, but, unfortunately, this is his first truly bad movie in a long time. It is one of the worst movies of 2017.

*


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2015 Documentaries

I have only seen 6 documentaries this year which also includes Amy and I Am Chris Farley . But, I have to be honest, this has not been a particularly strong year for documentaries except for onethat got me emotionally and mentally as what I examine for when they uncover the truth or some facts from the people involved in these documentaries. But, here are the four I have seen this year: Listen To Me Marlon, Unrated, 4 stars This is the most insightful documentary of the year as we only hear Marlon Brando narrating his life and experiences what he has gone through regarding his family, his private life and his film experiences regarding The Godfather , Apocalypse Now , Last Tango in Paris , etc. It is like Marlon Brando came out of his grave to give us another profoundly moving movie only we hear his voice and scenery and nothing else. The Look of Silence, R, 3.5 stars Joshua Oppenheimer's follow-up documentary is a light-hearted but still-disturbing film regarding a ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Daddy's Home 2 (2017), PG-13, ★1/2

The first Daddy's Home was surprisingly a financial success as I thought it was not as bad as many people thought. I thought it was a solid cable watch because it had enough laughs for that sort of mixed recommendation. I was not craving for a sequel for this movie because again, comedy sequels have a very bad record, however, the only difference is that it is not too late since the first movie came out a few years ago. But, this sequel is a reminder as to why we do not need a sequel to a hit comedy because this is a pretty much forgettable comedy, especially a holiday comedy...which I hade a guilty pleasure for. This did not work for me. Brad and Dusty (Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg) have become friends after the events of the first film and they set up a co-dad system where their two children, Megan and Dylan, spending time at each father's home. Dusty has re-married to writer Karen (Victoria's Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio) and he is step-dad to Adrianna, Karen...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), R, 4 stars

The stockbrokers worshipping Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) like a god. Wall Street. The clients, the adrenaline, the stocks, the money, the power, and the decadence. The former three pertains to the man's job, but the latter three pertains what any stockbroker wants in order to have the freedom to do whatever they want with the client's money. As Mark Hanna (Matthew McConaughey) would say, "The name of the game is: move the money from your client's pocket into your pocket." We basically spend three hours seeing all of these Wall-Street scumbags steal the clients' money into their own pockets and spend it on booze, drugs, women, and other insane things in more insane activities. I have witnessed here is a great movie that I would not watch repetitively. The movie starts with Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) blowing cocaine onto a hooker's butt and he and his brokers throwing a little person onto a board with a dollar sign in the center. It'...
Post a Comment
Read more