Seventh Son (2015), PG-13, 0 stars

Jeff Bridges is stopping Ben Barnes to prevent him from ruining his career.

Oh, well, too late! Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore and Ben Barnes have to be embarrassed with this movie being in their filmographies for the rest of their careers because this movie does not seem to care whether or not this plays like a movie. Anyway, these sword-and-sorcery movies I tend to avoid because they are all the same and they bore me with these mythical creatures and sorcery language but I gave this movie a chance because of the three actors involved and I'm afraid to say that this was one of the most boring experiences I have had of going to the movies. I felt like I was comatose while having nightmares of images of this movie playing over and over.

What is this movie about? Well, Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore) was imprisoned and then she escapes to taunt Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges), the local village's Spook (what, in that context, is a Spook?). Anyway, Malkin is on the loose while the local Spook is away and it is up to Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) to train and to defeat Malkin from the evil and powerful witch who wants to consume the village with fire and evil forever.

Here's the whole story: Evil witch is imprisoned, she escapes, she kills a master's friend, master vows revenge, random village boy is trained by master, village boy also falls in love with a girl, boy becomes powerful, boy tries to defeat the evil witch. Even, a 8-year old boy can be read this sword-and-sorcery novel and can predict any part of the book/movie and also predict the ending. But, the unfortunate event is that this is a movie and I think that the filmmakers have wasted their time making this movie and the audience will waste their money and time watching this junk.

It is also sad to see two very talented actors be in this movie because Jeff Bridges is one of the most likable actors in Hollywood: he was True Grit, Tron, Starman, Jagged Edge, The Fisher King, and of course, The Big Lebowski. He needs to find better scripts than this. Julianne Moore, hopefully does not go into the Norbit effect because she is definitely the lock to win the Oscar for Best Actress in a few weeks for Still Alice. However, usually Oscar winners do not follow their Oscar-winning roles with great roles in movies. So, this is definitely one of Moore's turkeys. But, this whole movie is like a dry turkey not wanting to be consumed. It is horrible.

ZERO

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